Koffee With Karan

‘Koffee With Karan’, hosted once a week by renowned film maker Karan Johar, used to be one of my most hated programs on T.V. However my sister and mom had throughout taken to it, so often I would just stare in front of the T.V wondering where to run away. And being in the time slot of late evenings on Sundays, it usually clashed with some good football match that I wanted to see. However, lately I have developed an immunity for this thing, and would like to share some of my views on the participants, and the ineffable host.

Rakhee Sawant comes to the program in her usually unabashed sense, to make a point as quickly as possible. Karan Johar asks her, whether she had ever had artificial silicon-isation of her body, and her prompt reply is, “Kyon nahin? Jo Bhagwan nahin, de sakta, who doctor de sakta hain!” Common Man! Wah Wah!

Then there are the Kapoors- Randhir, Rishi, and Rajiv, who come one day. By the way I would like to introduce all to a little bit of family tit-bit. My father has a renowned dislike of much of this family’s filmy skills, and he has forever maintained that Randhir is the worst of the family, while Rishi is slightly better than the worst, whereas Rajiv would probably fit in as worse than worst. So, for us watching them in action, gave us a sense of Déjà vu. My mom being extremely fond of Rishi, always provided a firm stand to oppose dad. I personally found all three of them extremely amiable on the show. Randhir spoke well, Rishi even better, and Rajiv pampered by his brothers. They were quick to maintain that though they had forever been associated with their famous father, Raj, it was their mother who moreover shaped their personalities, being with them forever, while RK was busy with his industrious occupations. Of course, Neetu Singh who ultimately decided on Randhir Kapoor to win the all important coffee hamper.

Then there was Shahrukh Khan with Kajol and Rani Mukherjee as the ladies with him. I think in recent years, Shahrukh has been much maligned by the critics for his forever lover boy image. But I personally think that the nineties were a time, when the metro sexual man was in vogue. A man who could cry in public, a man who had little hair growth, and a man who was interested in women, pretty much in stark contrast in all measures as to the superstar of the previous generation, Amitabh Bachchan. Brawn as fashion, is probably repeating itself. True to his image, Shahrukh and Karan J molly cuddled each other through a painful hour, and in between the women kept laughing and squeaking at every opportunity. I have never liked Kajol’s abrasiveness, and on that particular day, I thought she had broken all her previous records. I could probably have counted all 32 permanent and an added 24 of her milk teeth that day.

And then there was Jaya Bachchan who came with Hema Malini. Although I have always been very fond of the latter, in her films, I just feel that perhaps her English is a bit too nasal. But jayaaaaaaa..uffff………She was her usual morose self, sad at the world, her host, partner, critics generally and probably most at herself. Must learn a few tips from her.

But then last of all I would like to mention, John Abraham and Bipasha Basu, who I thought gave us the best show of all. Very intelligent in their answers, and never frivolous, basic decency was maintained, and I never got embarrassed enough to leave the room. After all Bips is Bong! Personally I think Bipasha has had a very god impact on Hindi Cinema. Her entry has paved the way for other dusky skinned, dark eyed women to make their forays after decades of dominance by the fair skinned, pale eyed heroines mostly from north India.

And now, I am looking forward to the next show which plans to have the great Richard Gere. He may not particularly kiss anyway on this next week’s show, but he will surely cause a number of kisses directed at him throughout the evening from all over the land.

Ode To My Beloved


Her Face Can Launch A Thousand Ships
Her Sight Catches A Million Fires
Her Speech Gets Us All Numb
Lady Manchester United

Her Womb Creates New Life
Her Flowing Breasts Suckle Us
Her Attention Keeps Us Proud
Mother Manchester United

Christian, Heathen, Indian, Saracen
We All Die For Your Love
The Greatest Sight On Earth
O Goddess Manchester United

A Million Men Rise For You
O Make Me Your Personal Bodyguard
Or With Jealousy My Heart Sighs
O Manchester United